Birthday

Not mine, his. He'll be 20. What the fuck. I met him when I was 16 hahah it's crazy how fast time goes... Anyways I got him all his stuff for his birthday care package! I'm making him rice crispy treats with melted almond bark on top and sprinkles, (idea thanks to Cora Croy) and a massive amount of candy, noisemakers, and silly string. I hope he likes it. I got stupid obnoxious bows and curly ribbons to decorate it with too hahah. He'll be kind of embarrassed but I'm not worried about it :) I also got a fur baby. Paisley. She's seriously my life. She's a 3 month old kitten and she's perfect. She's keeping me sane during this deployment. I'll post a picture at the end.

Today was a difficult one. I've been pretty good about things for a while, but I miss having people around. I miss interaction. I miss having friends. All my friends are states away and all my family is too. I have no one here. Luckily my friend Julianne is coming VERY soon! :) I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. She and I are both going through the same shit and it's going to be great having someone here to lean on. Lots of pictures to come :) Until then, Semper Fi ladies and gents. <3

Paisley-Sophia. My love.

Home.

Is supposed to be where the heart is, right? Well my heart is in Afghanistan, so I don't feel at home right now. I miss him a lot tonight. I don't know why, because communication has been okay for the past few weeks. Maybe it's because I'm FINALLY realizing how long it's been since I've seen him. Over 100 days. That's kind of a long time. And honestly, it doesn't feel that long, but now that I'm looking at it, we've barely spent any time together as an actual married couple. When he gets home we'll still have a few months of that honeymoon stage. Which can be a good or a bad thing. Maybe I shouldn't be complaining. I don't know. But I feel like this blog is the only place where I can truly let my feelings out. I miss my husband, dammit. I miss him so much. Life isn't the same without him where he belongs. But anyway, on to better subjects.

I'm an official college student. Like OFFICIAL official. Paid for, enrolled, classes start this week official. I'm extremely excited. To all my doubters, *insert middle finger gesture.* Thank you for doubting me. It just made me try that much harder :) I can't wait to be able to say that I got my associates degree in less time than it took everyone else. I am putting the pedal to the metal for this one. AND I also think I might be getting a job soon if everything works out right. All thanks to Michelle Yelton. If you read this, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Even if she doesn't need me, seriously, thank you so much.

Hopefully next blog I post will be filled with even better news. I don't know how many people ctually read by blog, but if you do, you're awesome. I love blogging. I will be keeping this thing for a loooong time. It makes me feel so much better. Until then, stay classy San Diego. And stay strong 1/5, the wives, and every other mil spouse I've met over this past year.

If you really knew me...

Some people who follow me might know me from military spouse support groups, pages, ect. Well here's a few facts about me you might not know :)

--I used to cheer. A lot. I was on varsity as a sophomore and as a senior (I moved to SC my junior year) and did Pop Warner Wildcats cheer in elementary/middle school. I miss it a lot sometimes.
--I got married the day after I turned 18, January 7th. I was scheduled to graduate high school that year too, but I graduated a semester early to ensure that I could REALLY live on my own while Tim was deployed.
--Out of my 2 best friends, I've only met one in real life. Weird? Probably. Do I care? Not a bit!
--I love to sing. I sing in the shower, I sing along to the radio, I sing when I'm home by myself, I just do iot all the time.
--I hold a tiny grudge against my mom for never putting me in dance. I watch it on youtube sometimes and it gives me chills. I wish I could express the emotions the way dancers do.
--Teen Mom/16 and Pregnant are my favorite shows. I love the ones with extra juicy drama. It's my guilty pleasure.
--I'm a nerd sometimes and love to read. I recently finished Water for Elephants and now I'm reading Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me.
--I've read every Twilight book and seen every movie, and I plan on dragging my husband to the newest one when he gets back ;)
--I love rain, gloomy weather, and thunderstorms. That's probably the only weather related thing I miss about home.
--I have 4 tattoos and a few piercings. I plan on getting more :)
--As we speak I'm watching the cheesiest of all cheesy cheer movies, Bring it On 4. I don't remember the name of this one.
--I love food. Food is good to me.
--Even though I don't like the military right now, I will always be thankful for what it's given me and my husband.

50%

We're halfway there, dudes. My DOM officially says, "Congratulations! You're over the hump!" Now don't get me wrong we might be under 50% or even OVER, because I have no clue what the homecoming date actually is. I literally picked a date and shoved it in there. Today is also my last full day in Washington. I'm sad. It's a bittersweet day for sure. We're getting all pretty and going out to dinner! I'm done, because I don't have the patience to curl my mane, but Cora is curling her hair right now and I still have no clue what I'm wearing hahah. Today also marks day 5 of no word from Timmy. Ugh. I worry TOO much. I think I'm even more worried because I'm not home and I'm afraid that if something did happen I wouldn't know. God forbid. I worry seriously way more than any normal human being should. I'm one of those people who think of the worst possible things ever. But we've done over 100 days. W.t.f. That's seriously so crazy. It doesn't feel like 100 days at all. I never would have thought that it would go this fast. I'm ready for this shizz to be over and done with.

Things I Dislike.

(Stolen from Sam Cameron :D)

1. Liars.
2. Cheaters.
3. Stealers.
4. People who manipulate others in a negative fashion.
5. Deployments.
6. Doing dishes.
7. Being forgetful.
8. MONEY.
9. Spending money.
10. Saving money.
11. Writers block.
12. Sand in my shoes/clothing
13. In-laws.
14. Sperm donor.
15. Stress.
16. Math.
17. School in general.
18. Not having a dog :(
19. Being alone 24/7.
20. Bad rap music.
21. My nose.
22. My boobs.
23. The job outlook in California.
24. When Kiowa whines at me.
25. Gas prices.
26. Missing my mom and sister and brother.
27. Missing my pup pup back home.
28. Feeling helpless about someone elses situation.
29. Communication in Afghanistan.
30. Being so far away from the only friends who understand my life.
31. Spiders.
32. Snakes.
33. What's lurking in the dark.
34. Deep water.
35. Death.
36. Distance.
37. Annoying people.
38. People who are stuck up their "best friends" ass.
39. "Friends" who try to act more like your mother instead of a friend.
40. Bitches.
41. Fake people.
42. Driving.
43. Gross food.
44. Close-minded people.
45. The smell of weed.
46. People who do nothing BUT smoke weed.
47. The feeling you get after you get caught doing something stupid/embarrassing.
48. Coconuts.
49. Shots.
50. Scales.
51. My weight.
52. Working out.
53. Dieting.
54. Sluts.
55. Girls who think they have to drink to be cool and flaunt it all over the internet.
56. People who copy you and deny it when you confront them.
57. Tap water in California.
58. The Christians who take the Bible literally word for word.
59. Hangovers.
60. Missing my husband :(

I don't wanna leave :(

Skype. Waiting for it will be the death of me.

I should be happy and greatful that Tim gets on facebook a lot. And I am, don't get me wrong. It makes my night every time I see that inbox notification. But I'm starting to get really frustrated. I would KILL to see his face right now. His FOB has webcams and headsets, and I know skype isn't down because I've seen other people post screenshots of them talking to their boyfriend, fiance, husband, ect. on skype. I know Tim could have the opportunity. He tells me all the time that he tries to get on every time he's on facebook, but for some reason he can't. Ever. It's been almost 4 months since I've seen his face. The biggest thing that's getting me down is the fact that his best friend over there is getting on skype a lot to talk to his girfriend, and their in the same platoon, MOS, what have you. They've skyped 3 or 4 times now. Yes, this blog is a bit of a vent but I'm really getting discouraged. My heart sank when I saw yet ANOTHER screen shot of his friend talking to his woman. Because my husband was literally just on a few minutes prior. I just don't get it. Really. I wish fucking skype was easier to get to. I feel like the only wife in his unit who hasn't gotten to see their man's face. Ugh. Oh well. Maybe I just need to get over it. Maybe I'm being a big baby about it. I just miss him. A lot. Vent over.

Here I Am.

So today I'm in Tacoma, Washington. It's green. Really green. Kansas City wasn't even this green in the spring time. I'm here with Cora, and it's been really great so far. Right now we're enjoying gloomy weather and eating junk food and blogging our dicks off. We went and saw all the old aircraft on McChord and got some food for the rest of the time I'm here. So this post will probably be really boring hahah. But I will say, I'm getting really sick of my sperm donor calling me. He called me this morning, this afternoon on my sister's phone, but luckily she warned me before hand. And THEN, he called again while we were looking at the mini air museum. I'm definitely getting sick of it. One day I'll explain what happened, but right now I want to keep it to myself. Basically it's something that I won't ever forget, no matter how much he kisses my ass. Seriously. It's almost unforgivable.

To conclude, I'm just happy being here in WA right now. It's giving me a good friend to hang out with, and fun things to do. We'll both get our minds off our husbands being gone, which will make time go by faster for BOTH of us. I'll blog again eventually, but right now I'm gonna continue watching The Jacksons LOL.

For once in my life

I've got my life on track. I'm making myself proud. I have goals. People didn't think I'd make it on my own when I left Kansas City. I had "haters." But guess what? I'm proving everyone wrong. I'm going to school, I'm taking care of bills and a house and stressing about a deployment. Yeah I may only be 18 years old, and I may have gotten married a DAY after I turned 18, but when you know, you know. I think I've matured and grown more as a person in the past 3 months than I did all through middle school up until the end of my high school career. (Which was only 3 years and 4 months.) My heart and mind are set on being a brick wall through this time apart from my Marine, so people can truly see that they shouldn't have doubted me.

I will say though, it's fucking hard. I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I miss the stability. If I still lived at home I WOULD have a job right now. Where I live, there's just no way I can get hired anywhere without college. And even when I wanted to get into school, the only campus within a 40 mile radius of me wouldn't enroll me because they "didn't have advisor appointments open in time for the summer semester." Yeah okay. You just didn't want my money, it's fine. I'll take it somewhere else. Currently I'm enrolled online for human services. I want to get a job working for child services and be a case worker. It's something I know I wish I had a while ago, but we won't go into that. Anyway, I just can't freakin' wait for Tim to come home. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, but it's going to be completely worth every day apart when he gets back. I'm just ready. Now.